"Teahupoo": The Grand Finale

Australia’s Jason Polakow, who has twice won the PWA Wave Sailing World Championship and is one of the world’s finest surfers, gives a highly personal account of his most recent surfing projects in Bali and Tahiti. In the last part of this travel report, he talks about the grand finale in Tahiti.

"Timing is critical at Teahupoo. One second the wave is flat and wide, and the next it’s folded over on itself, forming a barrel that surpasses any other. I found that you had to be in the perfect position if you wanted to make the drop. The slightest position along the reef can be fatal, but if you are in the right spot and your timing is right, you can blast some huge aerials.

The aerials you see at Hookipa and other spots around the world are simply not executed in the same way as at places like Teahupoo. You have to anticipate where and when the lip is going to throw. Keeping your speed is equally as important. You don't want to get stuck mid-face, and you really need your speed if you decide to kick out.

I managed to pick out a great spot in the reef, where I would sit in the water to wait for the sets. My other friend was on a jet ski further out and would indicate to me which wave was the biggest of the set by raising his hand and indicating the number on his fingers as the jet ski rolled over the first wave. It sounds kind of dumb, but it actually worked really well. That, and the fact that he towed my arse back out to the line up each time I finished my ride. I guess you could say I had my very own personal limousine service on the water.

As the wave approached, I would quickly deep-water start and, with a few hard pumps, I could squeeze into a few solid ones. More often than not I would miss the wave, but on the bigger sets my position was perfect. The wind was so light that the only way to get into these waves was to basically sit right in the impact zone. My confidence was growing as I reeled off about a dozen waves, but disaster struck as I dropped in too late on a solid set and got totally worked. It only takes one crash to the bottom and your body gets ripped by the jaws of the razer sharp coral. I didn't even feel the cuts until I got back into the boat, bleeding.

If you're going to wipe out at Teahupoo, then there's one basic rule to follow: stay away from the breaking lip and, if you can, stay in the barrel for as long as possible.

Well that all went to shit as I jumped off my gear and landed on my back, only to have the lip hit me directly in the chest. It’s hard to explain the feeling you get as you drop into a nasty bowl and the wind decides to take an early vacation. A second can feel like an eternity as you contemplate your impending demise. You instantly see your fate as it flashes in front of your eyes. The wave thickens up as it hits the shallow reef. It gives you a little grin, then just pounds you into the reef. The air basically gets ripped out of your lungs and you have to relax and know that you’re going to get pinned for a while.

I generally count to 10 or so and then try to make my move. If you try too soon, you can find yourself stuck in a pocket of air and water for longer than you wish to. It's definitely hard not to panic, especially when you know that the next wave is going to be knocking on your door as soon as you see the sunlight. There might be some love at your home break, but when it comes to Teahupoo, it’s a true beating that you will never forget. The odds of hitting the bottom are about as good as letting a blind man pick out his favourite porno, but the sight of a jet ski coming your way can be more inviting than a hot date.

With all of the equipment trashed, it was time to take up Robert’s invitation for some truly authentic home-cooked Tahitian food. There’s just nothing better than wind, waves and a feast to cap off a magical trip.

Seeing this wave in magazines and in videos just does not do the place justice. You have to be there to feel the energy and power of what nature can dish out and yet at the same time witness the camaraderie and courage between the water men as they put their lives to the test. Surfing or sailing big Teahupoo is definitely not for the faint-hearted. I guess once you’ve had a taste, you just want to come back for more."