Stunt School: Goat Simulator

What if Michael Bay owned a farm? The tricks you can pull off inside the world’s most explosive sim.

Stunt School: Goat Simulator
© Coffee Stain Studios

Goat Simulator? On Stunt School? This is no docile agrarian sim - Coffee Stain Studios’ surprise indie hit is unquestionably the silliest game we’ve played all year, not to mention the buggiest. But that’s all part of this charm: this open world, physics (or lack thereof) based title is an insane mess - you just walk around licking things and watching them explode. It’s also the perfect platform to pull off some epic, Red Bull style stunts. Can your caprine hero pull these tricks off?

Falling, with style

© Coffee Stain Studios

Your faithful goat may not be as graceful as a Red Bull Cliff Diver, but he can certainly stomach falls from the same vertigo-inducing heights. Hop up onto the shack with the aircon extractor on top of it and you can blast your way up into the sky: aim it just right and you can then land on a trampoline in the empty swimming pool and bounce back up into an open crate hanging from the top of a crane, then drop down again for the perfect dismount. Just don’t push the (human) kid off the crane while you’re up there – you may get a bonus for it but he definitely doesn’t bounce like a goat.

Freefall from the stratosphere

© Coffee Stain Studios

You can’t take your goat quite as high into the sky as Felix Baumgartner went, but you can get pretty close. To do this, you’ll need to be wearing the goat jetpack – yep, that’s a thing. As you’d expect from a game this daft and glitch-filled, it’s almost uncontrollable, but with the right collision you can get a shove in the right direction. Jump to 2:10 in the video above to see how TheSmithPlays manages it by getting run over by a car and blasting off upwards. Bonus: TheSmithPlays also drags an unsuspecting bystander up the hill with his goat’s tongue, then lobs them down an enormous waterslide, just because you can.

Float like a butterfly, lick like a goat

© Coffee Stain Studios

There’s even more fun to be had with a jetpack indoors. Butt your way into the succinctly named Low Gravity Testing Facility and you’ll find a barmy Portal style test chamber where Newton’s rules don’t apply. You’ll even find a skate park inside: you won’t have any wheels, but topple onto your side with enough speed and you can still grab some air. Tiago Lopes would be impressed, if a little horrified at being trapped inside the world of Goat Simulator.

Fly into the bowels of hell

© Coffee Stain Studios

As absurdly fun as Goat Simulator is, there’s only so many petrol stations you can explode with your goat’s tongue on the default map before the novelty begins to wear off. Install the Abu Goat map however and you’ve got a whole new playground to roam (or should that be ram?) around in and one with even less working collision detection. The Egyptian-themed map is full of sphinxes, pyramids and kitsch bric-à-brac including UFOs and full size dinosaur statues, but that’s not all: jump to 9:30 in the video above and you can see how you can actually blast down into the ground and onwards into the abyss. The perfect place to practice a bit of wingsuit flying, we reckon. If only it were real.

Clay pigeon shooting with hang gliders

© Coffee Stain Studios

Jetpacks, trampolines and water slides aren’t the only way to achieve lift off in Goat Simulator. Hop off the crane or a cliff, and you can even land on the hang glider. Not enough of an adrenaline rush for your goat? Check out the video above and you can see how it’s possible to lick a boulder, haul it up to the top of the crane, and with the right timing, hurl it into the hang glider, causing it to explode in an inexplicable shower of flames. Whoever said Goat Simulator wasn’t realistic?