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10 things you have to do in Metal Gear Solid V
Our ultimate guide on how to act like like a big boss and screw around in Kojima’s masterpiece.
It's finally here. Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain marks the culmination of the epic, decade-spanning Metal Gear Solid story, not to mention Hideo Kojima's stint at Konami. Since its release in 1998 on the original Playstation, Metal Gear Solid has taught us how to sneak, distract and stealth – and has changed gaming forever.
Gaming has changed Metal Gear, too, of course. The Phantom Pain is the first open world instalment in the series – but how to celebrate the occasion? By pushing it to its absurd limits, of course. We've come up with a list of way to pass the time in the Phantom Pain, and generally be as annoying as possible.
From tactical horse dumping to a total lack of hygiene, Metal Gear Solid V offers players more ways than ever to troll the enemy for hours on end. Here are some of the best ways to troll the enemy like a true FOXHOUND.
Cardboard box magic
If Metal Gear Solid has taught us anything, it's that the AK-47, M9 and other weapons pale in effectiveness when compared to a standard cardboard box. The first choice of our protagonist for as long as we can remember, the cardboard box has rightly earned a reputation as stunningly effective tool of espionage. A box makes sense on a cargo ship or on an oil rig, but it also seems to blend in with the desert surroundings of the Phantom Pain. You haven't experienced the MGSV till you've shuffled behind a guard, stopped, and then picked him off. Classic Kojima.
Don’t shower
You can get quite sweaty during covert operations, and that means even Big Boss needs to take care of his hygiene sometimes. If you decide to let your cleanliness go South, don't expect your colleagues not to notice. Not showering in the Phantom Pain will leave your view covered in flies, and will even show how others are physically repulsed by your odour. After what feels like a particularly bad deodorant advert, Ocelot will decide he's had enough, and throw a bucket of cleansing water at you.
Kill your foes with a well-placed air drop
Air drops represent a lifeline for Snake, and provide everything he needs to complete his mission. What's more, they can be swiftly called into land in at any point on the map – including a guard's head. Although it takes patience, time and a ridiculous amount of accuracy, it is possible to actually KO guards with your care packages. Being snuck up on by packaging is embarrassing enough, but no guard is going to admit he was outgunned by bag of magazines. The ultimate shame.
Send sheep into the stratosphere
MGS V allows Snake to send supplies and personnel to Mother Base, your main hive of operations. After defeating enemies or discovering enemy jeeps left unattended, simply attaching a Fulton to them will see them sent right back to base. From there it's possible to give them a job and train them up, or use your new resources to extend the base. Of course, being MGS V, it's also possible to send sheep, horses and much more to Mother Base. Attaching the balloons to animals or jeeps full of guards will confuse the enemy, as well as making Mother Base a more interesting place to hang.
Lay tactical manure
In the Phantom Pain, your horse represents one of your most trusted allies – and your wheels. A great way to move round the map, your horse is multi-talented; so much so that even its waste products have stealth applications. Rather than letting your horse do its business discreetly, the Phantom Pain lets you deploy manure at key areas to distract guards, or even skid vehicles off the road. You haven't experienced MGS V until you've seen a guard utterly horrified by one of your steed's tactical dumps.
Execute WWE-worthy finishers
MGS V includes a new useful animation for Big Boss – the trusty quick dive. A great way to escape explosions, get under cover or dart from one place to another, the quick dive is an awesome tool in Big Boss' vast arsenal. However, it can also be used to take down enemies, and does look a lot like a wrestling move. If you fancy yourself as the next Steve Austin, John Cena or Ultimate Warrior, why not use Big Boss' other moves like a Sambo Suplex to bodyslam hapless guards? Laying guards out for the count is one of the funniest things you can do in the Phantom Pain.
Rocket punch
When it comes to taking out your enemies from afar, Batman has the remote Batarang, and Big Boss has his left forearm and fist. That's right, in Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain you can detach your bionic arm, and aim it towards distant enemies (this is a realistic depictions of 1980s Cold War weaponry, after all). When controlling the arm you're presented with a onboard view, so you can accurately deliver fist of full of steel to any hapless guards. Of course, you don't have to hit anyone if you don't want to; you could just take your arm out for a spin.
Sic your pooch on your prey
Sometimes taking down an entire force of soldiers is hard work, so it's not a bad idea to enlist some help. Luckily MGS V gives you the help of man's best friend. Not a cardboard box, but a trusty hound, courtesy of Diamond Dogs. After you've trained, mentored and perfectly honed your dog's attack skills, it can become one of the most effective weapons in the game. Why waste bullets when your dog can take soldiers out with ease? Better yet, footage shows it carrying a knife, for real multi-tasking.
Knock out guards with ammo cases
MGS V lets you use your dogs to save ammo, but sometimes you can just use ammo to save ammo. Instead of using your magazine, loading your gun and shooting your target, MGS V lets you skip the middle man and throw your magazine directly right at your target. The result? A swift KO to the face with no bullets spent. Better yet, you can take out guards with unexploded grenades, and even flares for the ultimate insult.
Go for a ride
We love messing around in Metal Gear Solid, but sometimes it's nice to get away from it all, and feel the wind in your hair – and bandana. That's why it's always worth sacking off your missions, and riding around the next gen landscape on your horse. Some of the best sandbox games like GTA and Watchdogs make doing nothing a huge amount of fun, and the Phantom Pain is no different.
