Seriously, conventional shortboards don't come much worse than this one to look at. But that means nothing in this crazy old world, because it ain't how it looks on the rack in the store or the roof of your car, it's how it hammers down the line and slingshots you over that summer slush. And then all of a sudden it's no longer ugly, but pretty and excellent. So, uh, meet the Psychedelic Germ.
"It's a highly responsive, shorter, wider board with added features that make it ideal for innovative surfing," says Hayden Cox, the man behind HaydenShapes. "I used the shred sled as a starting point to design this board, the main changes are the displacement hull, and side cuts. The hull softens the water flow through the entry of the board, it hits the ridge of the hull, and is dispersed into the single concave. This helps when taking off late, planing through choppy water or landing critical manoeuvres."
Divine! But, what about those funky hips? "The side cuts shorten the radius of your turn, meaning the board will draw a much tighter arc. When you bottom turn, you engage the 3 dimensional curve the side cut creates, which draws you up the wave face. You then transition onto your inside rail which pulls you around back into the pocket with ease."
And like any good summer board, the middle is like a ruler. "The rocker is flat in the belly, giving the board flowing speed, yet it kicks late in the nose and a little in the tail. The deep single concave in the centre of the board blends into a double vee out the tail."
So, who's the Germ for? "If you want a shorter wider board that’s strikes the balance between performance and innovation the germ has all the features that you need to bring a whole new dimension to your surfing."