Get To Know This Buxom Babe: Teahupoo

Tahiti starts in less than two weeks and a gentleman suitor is never tardy to the date.
Michel Bourez in action at Teahupo'o.
Michel Bourez in Tahiti © Brian Bielmann/Red Bull Content Pool
By Teddy Ward

When a gentleman meets a woman he’s attracted to, he doesn’t just rush in for the big smooch before he asks her for her name. No, a gentleman takes his time. A gentleman is patient with a woman, he learns her ways and moods.

He takes her out to a nice steak dinner and laughs at her jokes, even if they’re not funny, and asks hers to dance in the steakhouse foyer on the way out, even if it’s that Seal song from Batman. Especially if it’s that Seal song from Batman. He takes her for fro-yo after the dinner, too. In short, a gentleman courts his lady.

Billabong Pro Teahupoo

WCT event No. 6 at Teahupoo begins on August 15, and in the same way as a real gentleman, the ‘CT suitors will all come for this buxom babe. And if they’re smart, they’ll arrive early -- to court her.

This is the point of this all, by the way. That smart competitors arrive early and get to know the wave. It’s part of preparation, part of developing a relationship with the break. Guys like Adriano and Jordy have been known to show up to a break well before the waiting period to get to know the wave. And guys like Adriano and Jordy have won events this year (Bells and Rio).

Carlos Burle in action at Teahupo'o, Tahiti.
Carlos Burle in Tahiti 2011 © Brian Bielmann/Red Bull Content Pool

And it’s so easy to get comfortable, back home. Understandably so, as the boys are on the road nearly all year, so these little gaps between events are considered small escapes to family.

But the fierce competitors go early. A week, maybe even two, to catch a good swell or more before the comp starts. A chance to meet this heavy, backless left-hand broad and dance with her in the steakhouse foyer among an array of conditions. Small and windy, medium and perfect, big and frightening -- a suitor must be able to handle his date under any circumstances.

‘Cause that’s the game, right? And a reputably dangerous woman, such as Teahupoo, requires that time and courtesy to gain each other’s trust.

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