Music
10 things a masquerader sees at Carnival
Jude Brosnan has been a masquerader (person in those badass headresses dancing by the floats) at Notting Hill Carnival for the past five years. She rides with the Arawak band and we asked her what she sees at Notting Hill Carnival while we're queuing for really expensive cans of Red Stripe and pretending not to be a bit claustrophobic.
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1. On the beat
We don’t know what goes on in the pre-Carnival police briefing but it’s probably less about Bogling more about not letting people wear your hat for pictures. To us there are two types of policeman: those who dance and those who get danced on.
2. Confused Tourists
We see the odd confused Italian tourist clutching a tour guide. They JUST wanted to see the blue door from the Hugh Grant film and now they are being passed rum while people conga around them. That will sound so much better than, ‘Looked at antiques on Portobello Road’ on a postcard.
3. Toilet issues.
We (secretly) have a port-a-loo on our truck so don’t have to get left behind in a vortex of queues. Negotiating toilets with massive headdresses and tassles adds an extra element of awkward. Locals will either spend the weekend shouting at people for weeing in their gardens or charge £5 for a go on their toilet. For a fiver, I'd take a bath and a disco nap in their guest room.
4. Carnival clobber
Green, yellow and red string vests and Caribbean flag capes have become Carnival spectator uniform. We see posh kids in Bob Marley t-shirts. We don’t see many who can name one of his songs.
5. Internetaholics
With all those people in one space, good luck getting internet signal. How are they going to Instagram their can of Red Stripe? HOW? We can see you waving your phone in the air.
6. Long lost friends
‘Meet me at Carnival’ is not a thing, you need an exact meeting point. Once you have met, don’t split up. Have you seen a horror film? No good ever comes from splitting up. We see chains of people holding hands going through crowds.
7. Fancy footwork
Carnival is a marathon not a sprint. NEVER wear new shoes to Carnival whoever you are. For starters they’ll get mashed. Top of our list of complaints is sore feet from dancing all weekend. We see a lot of people limping or barefoot carrying their shoes.
8. Laughing vendors.
We get fed well on the road. Vendors love it when you ask for some cutlery with your roti. They especially love it when you ask for the really hot sauce. Those food vendors have to go through hardcore tests to serve at Carnival so you are guaranteed good stuff, don’t ask if they have soya or gluten-free options unless you want to get laughed out of West London.
9. Drunk dialers.
We see rum drunk people leaving their bosses messages saying they can’t come in on Tuesday. Maybe step away from the static sound system first and don’t tweet pictures posing with policemen yeah.
10. Defiant Masqueraders
The police might call time on the amplifiers around sunset but us masqueraders are an inventive bunch. Watch feathered folk making music by banging bottles with sticks. We remembered to book Tuesday off work, we aren’t done yet.
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