The definitive list of Fall Guys courses ranked from worst to best
© Devolver Digital
Any dissenting opinions are wrong, quite frankly
If you've spent any time bumpin' and bashin' your way through the obstacle courses designed by the devilish minds behind Fall Guys, you'll likely already have your favourite – and least favourite – courses in mind. But just in case there's dissent between you and fellow Fall Guys fans, here's the definitive list of Fall Guys' courses, ranked from worst to best.
Yes, the judge's decision is final. Deal with it… just like you have to deal with Gate Crash.
Hate it. Hate everything about it. It doesn't matter how well you think you've lined yourself up – you'll leap at precisely the wrong time, smack the wall with your face, and look stupid in front of all your pals. It was forged in the very fires of hell as a punishment to humankind.
Encapsulating everything you hated about gym class in school, team games are the worst, and this is possibly the worst of the worst. The team that hoards the least number eggs at the end loses, although as fortunes can be won or lost depending on how effective your teammates are, you might as well flip a coin and hope for the best.
STOP. JINXING. PLAYERS. ON. YOUR. OWN. TEAM. YOU. IDIOTS.
Tail Tag / Team Tail-Tag / Royal Fumble
Tail Tag is a soft play assault course with spinning plates, pendulums, and shiny golden tails. In solo games, whoever has a tail when the timer expires gets through, or – in the case of Team Tail Tag – the team with the least collective tails is disqualified.
In Royal Fumble, there's just a single golden tail and whoever has it when the timer hits zero - regardless of how long they'd held it during the round – gets the win. Hate it. Less a game of skill and more a game of luck… be it good or bad.
It's Tetris, but with Jellybeans. Balanced on a narrow platform, you need to keep steady and manoeuvre around the giant foam blocks looking to take you out with them. Everyone's pretty much sussed this one, though, so it's usually a bit of a waste of time and only eliminates the very, very stupid and/or unfortunate.
Oh, Door Dash. How Jellies loathe thee. Faced with a wall of gnashing teeth and foam doors, your job is to smash through each line of defence to reach the other side, although there are fewer and fewer legitimate doorways the further into the course you get. Fast and furious, this can escalate tempers in astonishing speeds.
Ironic that it's full of giant fans when there are no fans of this level. Sure, it's possible some of you disagree and think this is great fun, but have you been pushed into that giant propellor halfway up the course by someone wearing the top half of a hot dog costume and the bottom half of a pigeon? No? Then your opinion is wrong. Move along – nothing to see here.
Exactly what it says on the tin. If you get ahead of the pack, you should be okay. But while you'd be forgiven for thinking most players should've gotten to grips with the mechanics of seesaws as toddlers, turns out many, many people simply do not understand the fundamentals of balance, which means things can go from terrific to terrible in seconds. Rage-inducing, quite honestly.
Have the most balls in your court when the buzzers go, and you'll win. Massively underwhelming whether you win or lose, quite honestly. This one can get in the bin.
Rock and Roll
Split into three teams, Jellies fight it out to be the fastest to get their ball past the obstacles and be the first to net a goal. Will you concentrate on moving the ball or sabotaging your enemy's ball instead? There's too much relying on other people's inadequacies, quite honestly, especially as your own teammates will always, without fail, get in the chuffing way.
There's moving blocks, giant balls, pendulums, slime, balance beams, swinging hammers: so many things designed to ensure you never reach the end of this thing. Oh, and there's also the fact the slime oozes up the course, forcing Beans into ill-advised speedruns. Never actually finished this one. It's that last set of bumper blocks that stops progress in its tracks every. Single. Time.
The closest thing you'll get to I'm A Celebrity's Celebrity Cyclone, Fruit Chute pits you against conveyor belts, giant balls of fruit and your fellow jellybean, all in a bid to cross the line first. A game of luck, not skill – well, you can't avoid what you can't see, and those fruit cannons are speedy and savage – it's not a favourite, to be honest. Also, since when was a cinnamon stick a fruit, eh?
Perfect Match is excellent at if you're playing with pals or have a photographic memory. It's not so great if you're not, or you haven't. There are also conniving Jellybeans that will attempt to push you off the tiles regardless of whether or not you've found the right ones. Nice.
Think football, except you have all the stability of a one-legged stool and the football's 30 feet high. Enjoyable, but not nearly enough carnage.
Think lumberjack log-spinning and you're almost there. All you need do is outlast your fellow Beans for a place in the next round, but be careful – this is less about keeping moving and more about keeping out of other Jellybeans' way. Enjoy.
A surprisingly sedate ending to a match, Fall Mountain pits a handful of lucky finalists against each other to be the first to grab that crown and secure that win. Not as manic as the others, so it's sadly not as much fun to spectate.
Jump Club / Jump Showdown
It's fight club, but with jumping, not fighting. Avoid the swinging arm as well as your fellow teammates to qualify.
Jump Showdown is the same but higher stakes, because the last Jellybean standing wins that all-important crown. Cannot count the number of times that lower beam has snuck under the higher one and wiped out unsuspecting Jellybeans. Sad times.
It doesn't matter how well you think you've lined up that jump – you'll miss it, just like you missed getting the last three hoops, much to your embarrassment. It's not quite as irritating as the other team games, though, so that's something, right?
Deceptively simple, but oh, how easy things can go wrong. Be behind the wrong Jellybean, and their mistakes on the giant spinning plates can cost you a place in the next round.
The finish line's right in front of you, and all you have to do is cross it. Oh, but there are dozens of tiles between you and that line, most of which will send you hurtling into the slime if you step foot on it. Saw some players levitating across them on PC this week which was nice and not at all enraging. Honest.
It doesn't matter how long you're able to stay on one level – one wrong move might see you plummet from the very top layer head down into the slime – but you can't deny this is a great one to spectate. A Jelly's fate can switch from dropping dubs to els in one fell swoop. A worthy runner-up.
This one's got a bit of everything - swinging pendulums, one-way doors, slime, and bumper obstacles designed to push you back right before you cross the finish line. Fates are sealed and victories are lost by little more than an ill-timed pendulum. It's the course that has it all!