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7 of Fernando Alonso’s greatest banter moments
We look at how Nando became F1’s number one banter merchant.
Time was when Fernando Alonso was a thrusting young F1 driver: uncompromising, hard as nails and perhaps guilty of taking himself a little bit seriously.
But the last few years spent with an under-performing Ferrari team followed by a seriously under-performing McLaren team have mellowed Nando, turning him into the laid-back elder statesman of Formula One. Shrewd and smart as a wolf but now able to take things with a pinch or two of salt, Fernando has become one of F1’s most entertaining characters.
Seemingly cursed to see out the end of his illustrious career in F1’s lower-midfield, McLaren-Honda’s star runner has now made it his business to become his sport’s banter king. Check out Fernando Alonso’s seven greatest burns below.
1. Palmer karma – Monza 2017
Fighting with Renault’s Jolyon Palmer at the 2017 Italian Grand Prix, Alonso was enraged when Palmer missed a chicane and was only handed a five-second penalty after gaining an advantage. On being told later in the race that Palmer had retired, Alonso’s reply was stingingly succinct: “Karma.” Ouch.
2. GP2 engine – Suzuka 2015
At the 2015 Japanese Grand Prix, Alonso’s simmering frustration with his switch to McLaren, as the team were slipping into their nadir, boiled over. Trundling around out of the points at Honda’s home race, the Spaniard let loose over team radio. “Embarrassing, very embarrassing,” he said. “GP2 engine, GP2,” he added, before letting out a guttural, “Bleurgh." Alonso was later ticked off by then-McLaren boss Ron Dennis, who told the press: “It doesn't show the professionalism I would like all our drivers to show.”
Being overtaken by a Sauber didn't impress Alonso
© LAT Images
3. That deckchair – Interlagos 2015
Visual middle fingers to your underperforming team don’t come much stronger than climbing out of your broken car during qualifying, pulling up a chair and having 40 winks in the sun. Alonso’s gesture at Interlagos in 2015 created such a bold, iconic image of ‘Why should I be faffed-ness?’ that it sent the meme-osphere into meltdown. Remember #PlacesAlonsoWouldRatherBe?
4. Amateur hour – Circuit Gilles Villeneuve 2015
Asked to save fuel just 24 laps into the 2015 Canadian Grand Prix, Alonso replied – with a voice that sounded like he’d just been shot with a dart: “I don’t want, I don’t want.” Despite protestations from his long-suffering engineer, Alonso went on: “Already I have big problems now, driving with this, looking like an amateur. So I race and then I concentrate on fuel.” He’d later retire for the third grand prix in a row.
5. G.S.O.H. – Sochi 2015
Told midway through the 2015 Russian Grand Prix that he was racing Williams’ Felipe Massa to the chequered flag, Alonso baulked. “I love your sense of humour,” he snapped to his engineer. He was eventually pipped by Massa, but finished only one place behind the Brazilian in an entirely respectable sixth. “Hopefully this is the first of many good Sundays coming,” a sunnier Fernando said on the radio after taking the chequered flag. It wasn’t.
"I love your sense of humour"
© LAT Images
6. DIY – Sochi 2017
Battling with reliability problems in races is one thing, but when your car can’t even make it around the formation lap, tempers are likely to flare. And so they did at the 2017 Russian Grand Prix, after Fernando’s MCL32 packed up on the way to the grid. Asked by his engineer to perform a reset “three times, please” a disgusted Alonso replied: “I try already, so try yourself.”
"You try"
© LAT
7. Career change – Interlagos 2016
It all got a bit déjà vu at the 2016 Brazilian Grand Prix, with Alonso again finding himself with nothing to do after his car stopped during free practice. Rather than sunning himself as he’d done at the same track 12 months prior, Nando took a more proactive approach, taking over the FOM remote camera and attempting to film a few passes through the Senna S. He was crap at it, but the message was clear: ‘I’m more use as a camera operator than a grand prix driver at the moment’.
