Music
It’s Star Wars Day, so let’s tune into some out-of-this-world bands from a galaxy far, far away.
In a galaxy where the Ewoks' Yub Nub song became the unlikely anthem for the end of imperial oppression (like mini David Hasselhoff clones playing on the Berlin Wall), you'd be forgiven for thinking there were no good bands in the assorted worlds of Star Wars.
If you're willing to explore the odd hive of scum and villainy, however, you'll happen upon some intergalactic music-makers who can get your feet, claws, tentacles [delete as appropriate] tapping.
To celebrate May 4 – aka Star Wars Day – let's meet the bands that rocked the Empire and made the rebels yell.
Evar Orbus And His Galactic Jizz-Wailers
Like a beaked Phil Spector, Evar Orbus was the brains behind one of the most influential sounds to hit the galaxy – Jizz (trust us it's true, just don't Google it).
Keen to profit from his musical know-how, Orbus formed a group of talented but feckless musicians, including the likes of future band leader Max Rebo, singer Sy Snootles and flute-tooter Droopy McCool.
With such popular Jizz tracks as (That Joyous Night) I Ate My Mate in their repertoire, the band were on the road to great things. However, after being booked to play on the same bill, beef got real with rival group Figrin D'an And The Modal Nodes and Evar Orbus was killed in the ensuing blaster fire.
The Max Rebo Band
From the ashes of Evar Orbus And His Galactic Jizz-Wailers rose The Max Rebo Band, one of the galaxy's best-known groups – mostly due to an extended Rat Pack-style residency at sluggish crime lord Jabba The Hut's palace.
Thanks to smash hits like Jedi Rocks, Lapti Nek ('Work It Out' in Huttese) and Galactic Dance Blast, the Jizz superstars grew a huge fanbase under the patronage of Jabba – albeit only after signing a dodgy lifetime contract.
Following what would turn out to be their final gig on Jabba's sail barge (so caused by Jedi Luke Skywalker's rescue attempt/stage invasion), the Max Rebo band got out of their contractual obligations and went their separate ways.
The elephantine Rebo made a living playing for the troops of the Rebel Alliance before opening a restaurant chain, while other members created their own bands (see The Palpatones below), started droid import businesses or turned to a life of crime.
Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes
Despite being widely known for knocking out some of the most-popular Jizz and Jatz joints this side of the Outer Rim, the Modal Nodes spent much of their career on the bones of their Bith butts thanks to the not-so-wily ways of their demanding leader 'Fiery' Figrin D'an.
A renowned gambler who wouldn't think twice about betting his colleague's instruments on a game of sabacc, Figrin got his bandmates in hock to Jabba The Hutt and for a time were forced into being his house band.
Following a well-paid (but regrettable) wedding gig, a stint at Mos Eisley's notorious Spaceport Cantina and a downright humiliating concert for the Wookiees' Life Day celebrations, the Modal Nodes wisely left the outer territories to play the intergalactic circuit.
Despite initially receiving lukewarm reviews, they nevertheless proved to be hugely influential – even going so far as to inspire their own tribute band, Figrin D'an II and the New Modal Nodes.
The Palpatones
After The Max Rebo Band went their separate ways following the death of Jabba The Hutt, Joh Yowza, Greeata Jendowanian and Rystáll Sant formed a sort of Inhuman League.
The re-named Palpatones – a musical tribute to Galactic Emperor Palpatine – built up a large Outer Rim fanbase thanks to their biggest hit Kick The Ranat and the curious allure of their singer Greeata (which means 'Talented' in Rodian). Following the Battle Of Endor and the fall of the Empire, the Palpatones went their separate ways into successful solo careers.
Fitz Roi
The man responsible for the popular resurgence of Jatz under the Galactic Empire, Faln horn master Fitz Roi was a performer with a flair for the dramatic. He would often appear on stage dressed as a Jedi while firing off a pair of space shotguns known as Slugthrowers.
Adept at acquiring wealthy backers despite his reputation for paranoia (he once launched a plagiarism lawsuit at Acme Robopolish, a droid window-cleaning company), he spent much of his career spreading the good word of Jatz across the galaxy thanks to a lucrative sponsorship deal with Flangth-2-Go, the second-largest fast food chain in the Galactic Empire.
For more on Star Wars: The Force Awakens, click here.
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