Skiing

10 Stereotypes in skiing

© Fabian Omne
Which one are you?
Written by Fabian OmnePublished on

You probably know some of them already. But in case you've forgotten, here's a refresher of our beloved sports classic stereotypes.

1. Powder Hounds

The powderhound
The powderhound
Rumors have it that if a powder hound misses the first lift up in the mornings, they're compelled to break their skis in half as punishment for bringing dishonor to the stereotype. And those skis aren't easy to break, as they're seldom narrower than 125mm on their waist. This leads them to visit the closest ski shop to borrow the chainsaw (all ski shops have chainsaws). After doing so, it's customary to get a pair of wider skis from the same store along with the latest POV-equipment. Because god knows that POV is the shit. From a Powder Hounds perspective, anything else than POV is considered dorky.
  • Powderhounds love: Not securing their avalanche backpacks when rocking up to the aprés.
  • Powderhounds hate: Their friends on a pow day.

2. The Aprés skier

Classic Aprés-dude
Classic Aprés-dude
The focus is, as the name so clearly states, directed at the events taking place aprés (French for after) skiing. These girls & boys have less than zero cares to give about gear-quality. All that's required is comfortable boots and a pair of rusty skis that won't break your heart if they're suddenly stolen from outside the bar. This Stereotype is friendly folks, and gladly puts on a show in the slopes. At least one member of the pack (yes, they travel in packs) must always bring a speaker in the backpack, which can under no circumstances stop playing Stayin' Alive on maximum volume. Not when skiing, not when stopping to chug a unit, and certainly not when standing in the queues. They're also most likely to be found on the table rather than sitting by it on any Aprés ski worldwide.
  • Aprés skiers love: Happy Hours
  • Aprés skiers hate: Being sprayed by powderhounds

3. The park rat

Baggy enough?
Baggy enough?
Two things are essential if you want to hang out with these people: Big Airs and uncomfortable clothes. On top of this, you have to learn to speak 'Jibberish,' a type of slang that's been evolving in the Terrain Parks since the late '90s that'll make you wonder whether they're talking about E-sports or skiing.
Before opening up for conversation: Learn the following words:
  • Bonk
  • Afterbang
  • Rideaway
  • Opp
  • Tindy
  • Gnar
  • Sweetspot
  • Elbow
  • Kink
  • Park rats love: Showing off
  • Park rats hate: Tuned skis

4. The "Yeah Dude"

"Dude, you should've been there"
"Dude, you should've been there"
In 9 out of 10 occasions, the yeah dude is a male in his mid 20's with curls sticking outside between the neck warmer and his helmet. This guy won't hesitate to tell you how rad any given day was, how big he went and how there's no bad days, only bad attitudes. If you don't stop him quick enough, you'll find yourself in the classic position of being forced to watch his latest clip that will, according to him, be "featured on Ski_islife, for sure."
  • Yeah dudes love: Screaming "Yeah Dude" to anyone able to spray a half-decent face-shot.
  • Yeah dudes hate: Not getting enough likes

5. The Jerry

Freeskier.com said it the best way possible:
Within the ski industry a “Jerry,” otherwise known as a “Gaper,” a “Joey,” a “Gorb,” etc. is someone [a skier or snowboarder] doing a boneheaded move. My personal definition of a Jerry is: An individual who exhibits a true lack of understanding for their sport, or for life in general.
Freeskier Magazine
Love'em or hate'em, regardless of which, they're impossible to miss. You'll know when you see one.
  • Jerry loves: Eurogaps
  • Jerry hates: People who ski within their limits.

6. The recreational skier

"A day on the slopes should be as relaxing as a day in the spa."
...Said no one ever, except the clique of individuals that takes on skiing the same way beach-goers in fancy resorts take on expensive hammocks. On the very best of pow-days, the recreational skier won't bend. The maximum amount of runs in between coffee/champagne pitstops are one or two, depending on if you need to take a transport-route to the restaurant for the second run. These are the people that'll wear oversized boots to stay comfortable. The gear is always tip-top, and the jacket probably custom-sewed for ultimate comfort. When the slopes restaurants close down, you can find them at any hotel lobby nearby, cruising around in Moonboots and sipping on some Aperol Spritz.
  • The recreational skier loves: Getting tipsy mid-day
  • The recreational skier hates: Properly fitting boots

7. The Ripper

Michelle Parker tearing it up.
Michelle Parker tearing it up.
Opposed to the Yeah Dudes, the rippers are low-key. They're often way above the Yeah Dudes ability to ski, completing the same lines with more ease, and less claims. The ladies of the skiing community are experts on this matter. Recent rumors have it that Yeah Dudes are avoiding Rippers due to not wanting to risk being made a fool of.
  • Rippers loves: Crushing Yeah Dudes.
  • Rippers hates: Jerry's

8. The senior

The guy in charge
The guy in charge
Watch out. These ladies & gentlemen have been in the game since before you were born, and they'll most likely let you know about it. Remember the good old days? When skis were supposed to be longer than a flagpole, and the winters were still cold? The seniors sure do, the only problem is that they can't seem to remember that they've told you all about it already. However, bear in mind that being a senior comes with being experienced, enabling them to draw turns in the groomers you can only dream of.
  • Seniors love: Telling tales
  • Seniors hate: Newschool skiing

9. The gear-o-maniac

Got enough middle-layers there, mr?
Got enough middle-layers there, mr?
All the gear, no idea. We all have that one friend that'll rock up with the latest & greatest pair of skis that is nothing else than "The shit, dude."
This individual will most likely bring skins and crampons for your little morning hike to the top, ascending via the slopes. And we're not kidding when we say that there have been sightings of people walking with crampons, under the chairlift, in the piste. By the way, your wood core is last years news. According to the gear-o-maniac, carbon infused honey-dipped featherfins mixed with shark-skin is what 2019's all about. The price? Who cares.
PS: If you can't think of one friend that fits the description, or if you can't relate to the stereotype, the chances are high that you'll start to feel pretty awkward right about now.
  • The gear-o-maniac loves: Draining the savings account
  • The gear-o-maniac hates: Last years skis

10. The Local Hero

NOTE: Johnny Colinsson is probably the coolest guy on the planet
NOTE: Johnny Colinsson is probably the coolest guy on the planet
Everyone's favorite! The biggest sender! The legend! Yeew!
The local hero has it all: The good looks, the stylish skiing, and a well-known name in the resort. He/she won't hesitate to stop a ski patrol to talk about the recent weather, and if the local sees another local 25 meters away in the queue, sneaking the line of patient working class heroes is nothing else than tradition. In their defense: They know their way around the mountain like few others do. And they're skiing like demons. However, they tend not to wander outside the boundaries of which they're perceived to be "Heroes" too often. Why? We'll let you figure that one out.
  • The local hero loves: other local heroes
  • The local hero hates: Not getting discounts at the local pub

Bonus: The competitor.

Read more about competing Swedes that are currently conquering podiums down on the Freeride World Qualifier by clicking the link below.
Did we miss something? Then you might find it here:
Needless to say, there are a bunch more stereotypes to be mentioned. But we don't want to bore you, and besides, now you can look forward to vol. 2 of Skiing Stereotypes.
PS: If you haven't found out how to be a skier, check this.
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