Event Report Card: Hurley Pro Lowers

Lowers wasn't quite Lowers this year. Where did it meet the mark, and where did it flunk?

Julian Wilson's Rebuttle
Julian Wilson's Rebuttle

Waves: D. Small, slow and occasionally weak. Sure, it had its moments. But 90% of the time, it was gray and bleary. That Pacific Ocean has on hell of a poker face for those lulls.

Party: A+. This grade is solely for the after party. During the event — which went almost as quickly as it came — there was little/no partying. When you roll out an event and wrap it up in a few days time, it provides little room for a surgical Hollywood strike mission. However, the after party… My oh my.  

Surfing: C. Let’s do some math! Contest surfing — good waves = …drumroll please: safety surfing! You don’t have to be Pythagorean to figure that one out. Sure, the surfing we saw was strong and crisp, but it was awfully safe. And it wasn’t the surfers’ fault. When you only get one shot at a decent score, you’re not going to spend it by trying an air and falling.

Claims: D. D is for dull and intermittent! The fists did not fly at Lowers, and apparently nobody feels emotion anymore. We can only hope that France (and big beachbreak barrels) bring forth the feelings.

Girls: A+. Just ask the Beach Boys, or Katy Perry. Generations upon generations of musicians have been hyping the California girl. They’re all tall, bronzed and blonde — even if they’re brunette.

Overall: C. Fret not! There’s always next year, Hurley Pro.